Waffles

Mmmm, waffles…in another bizzaro type of universe, I can see Homer Simpson replacing waffles for donuts, and I think I would be happier. Call me crazy, but I think I would pick waffles over donuts, especially these bad boys. We’re talking real deal waffles here, none of that out of the box from the freezer waffles. I mean, these are the perfect pair of crispy-ness, buttery-ness, cakey-ness goodness that dreams are made of. How many other foods can be a main dish and a dessert without changing it at all!? Not many, that’s how many.

In my mind when making the perfect waffles, there are two rules to keep in mind –

1) when combining the wet and dry ingredients, you can not over mix. You have to mix to the point where they exactly come together, and can not mix anymore. There will be patches of dry ingredients, but that’s fine. The reason for the not overmixing business is because whenever you mix water and flour you develop gluten, and the more gluten the tougher the final product is.

2) you have to put in the bare minimum of batter into the waffle maker. This will prevent major spillage out the sides, and will give you a picture perfect waffle. This usually comes out to about 1/2 a cup. Pour it in the center, and gently spread it around.

I guess there’s also a third rule – you can not open the thing, until it’s ready. Some have an alarm that rings when it’s ready, but it’s crucial that you keep it in there, no matter how much it smokes and hisses, until it’s ready, or you will be left with the pile of manure from biff’s car in back to the future.

So now that I laid down the rule of the land, let’s march forth and tackle this dubious monster.

Part I – the dry stuff

This is a really boring scene – just some flour, baking powder, sugar, and salt, and whisk it together

Part II – the wet stuff

This is where the magic happens…you know what that means, our old dear friend señor butterman.

No, that’s not two sticks of butter, that’s one stick broken in two…go ahead, prove that it’s not.

Once the butter is melted, and cooled, combine it with, the eggs, milk, and vanilla (gotta make sure the butter’s cooled, or you’ll scramble the eggs…).

Ok now to combine the wet and dry, and it is time to go into “operation follow rule #1” – don’t over combine. Make a well, in the dry ingredients and pour into the well. Then to mix, take a spatula, and gently fold/mix until it just comes together.

You see how it’s a little lumpy up there? That’s what I mean.

I’m telling you – you’re gonna think it doesn’t look right. Your sous chef will be screaming french curse words at you, saying: sacre bleu! you must mix it more! But fear not, you’re covered.

To make the waffles, you simply take your waffle maker, plug it in, and let it heat up, spray it with some pam, and we’re ready to move on to rule #2 – to only put the bare minimum, which we’re gonna say is a half a cup, spread it around a little, and close the cover.

Like I said earlier, you have to leave that thing closed until you plan on taking it out, and that depends on how crispy you want it. I like mine crispier, so I set mine to “6” and waited for the alarm to chime.

See the smoke? Just got to let it do it’s thing, and wait for that magical bell.

I know they look amazing, well guess what, they were.

You know what else is amazing? The scraps

is there anyone out there that will say they won’t eat that? I’m not buying it, because I know you’d be chowing that sucker down. I mean look at it, it’s the perfect bite size snack!

Just top with some real maple syrup (none of that high fructose corn syrup garbage), and enjoy.

That’s it, all that hard work and rules, paid off…just like your mom told you it would.

Ingredients:

• 1 3/4 cup all purpose flour
• 1 T baking powder
• 1 T sugar
• 1/2 t salt
• 3 eggs beaten
• 1/2 – 2 sticks butter (you can make this with a half a stick of butter, but as always the more butter the better…and the more crispy it will be)
• 1 1/2 cups milk
• 1 T vanilla extract

Directions:

1. Combine flour, baking powder, sugar, and salt and whisk to combine
2. Melt the butter, and allow to cool back to room temperature, before mixing it with the eggs, milk, and vanilla
3. Form a well in the dry ingredients, and pour the wet ingredients into the flour mixture, and gently mix to combine, and stop when it’s just together.
4. Heat up your waffle maker, and spray with some cooking spray.
5. Ladle out a 1/2 cup of the batter, and spread it out, and close the lid, and keep it closed until it’s finished.
6. Serve with some real maple syrup.